Que La

Exactly 2 months until Summer Break!!!

2011-04-03T09:49:00.002-06:00

I would like to apologize for lack of postings. I know all my loyal fans have been crying in the corner since December.

Just a little update with my life is that there is nothing new to say. I've been derby-ing it up a lot. I had to change my name as there is someone in Ithica who had it already so now instead of Delicate Flower I'm Prudence D'Flower. This is only on the books, I'm still a Delicate Flower, but know I can also be called Prude when I'm too tired to go to the after parties.

I also feel like I'm hitting harder, and getting hit harder. This is mostly because of all my bruising. I look like a Civil War bandage. I have used my shoulders as examples of Ven Diagrams.

"This bruise happen last week, this bruise happened last night, see where they intersect? That is were it hurts a lot to touch. Kevin! Stop touching my bruises!"

I would challenge everyone to watch the following clip and not smile.

The Spirit of the Season

2010-12-26T11:06:00.002-07:00

I come from a family that the world may define as large but is right on par by Utah standards. Growing up we would complete exhaust our babysitting/lawn mowing income if we purchases a Christmas gift for every sibling. So at a young age we learned the best course of action was to draw names and get a gift for one other member of the Balling Clan. Because my mother doesn't want to overwhelm the dear souls that we suckered in to marrying my brothers we kick them out of the Christmas drawing. For the last two years it has been me and my sister.

Last year I made her draw names. She was less than amused when she realized that there were only her and my names in the hat. This year we just assumed that we would get each other a gift without the hassle of the drawing. Because my sister is a freshman she wanted college apparel for her gift. Since I don't live anywhere near her college I just sent her up a check and called it good. She also didn't know what I wanted so I told her I would take care of it. I procrastinated this so on Christmas Eve I had to go shopping for my gift, consequently my sister got me a pair of truly fabulous boots.

Don't think that because we knew what we were getting it took all the surprise out Christmas. I had know idea what I was giving my sister, and she had no clue about the truly fabulous boots she gave me.

Portrait of Me.

2010-11-18T16:05:00.003-07:00

The other day I was checking my email at work and I received an email titled "REALLY CRITICAL PLEASE READ ASAP" To which I said, "Okay". Upon its opening I found an attachment titled ms balling. What was I going to do but open it. What I saw was the following:

The strange thing is the artist isn't even my student. And when another teacher pointed me out to him, he didn't even know who I was.

This ammuses me.

Everyday

2010-09-19T13:33:00.003-06:00

I had the re-revelation (it happens every time I hear him) that I really like Dave Matthew's Band. So I went though youtube and watched some of his old music videos. Although this one isn't my all time favorite, I almost cry when I watch it. Plus in a world where everything seems to be changing it's nice to know that Judah Friedlander is a constant.

This one I think is beautiful.

September School Story

2010-09-13T17:30:00.002-06:00

This is my first story of the year.

I was teaching my students about the symbolisms found on the one dollar bill. Afterward we were going to do some dollar folding origami.

First we folded this...

Then we wanted to fold this...

What I said was. "Before we start I have to undo my shirt"

Adorable

2010-08-24T16:51:00.000-06:00

Just watch

I Want This Cake

2010-08-05T12:10:00.001-06:00

I'm a Hero

2010-07-29T10:40:00.003-06:00

My house has a patio area. It is about 3 feet below ground level. Yesterday 2 ducklings fell into my patio area and they couldn't get out. I had to save them. They were not greatful, their mother really wasn't greatful.

There is nothing a towel and high pitched screams can't do.

Summer Lovin'

2010-07-02T11:17:00.001-06:00

I'm not having a Sandy/Danny summer but I am lovin' my summer. I've knitted a lot. A disgusting amount actually. Anyway. Thats about it. The end

Creepy?

2010-05-28T15:50:00.002-06:00

At the very least he is impressive.

Bad Jokes

2010-04-29T16:58:00.002-06:00

In class today we got of topic and told jokes for a few minutes. here are some of them.

If April Showers bring May Flowers, what ddo may Flowers bring?
Pilgrams.

If the pilgrams were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age

Why did the chicken cross the plate?
To get to the other side...DISH!

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.

2010-04-19T17:14:00.004-06:00

Dear Friends.

Many of you have asked how you can support me with my Roller Derby Habit (if you haven't, you should have)

This little clip is all you need to know about when you can come and watch me.

I'm on the Bomber Babes.

Anything else my may want to know can probably be found out here

Poloriod

2010-04-03T19:53:00.002-06:00

I've been crazy busy since I have visited with all you. My schedule currently is working a full time job, going to a night class, playing derby, and if that wasn't enough I just picked up a part time job. Wahoo for me! I'm really excited.

I'm having fun with life and loving all my new derby friends. They are definitely filling a space in my life that I was missing.

Anyway, I was in Bath and Body Works and I heard this song. When the employee asked if she could help me I asked her to get the singer.

I am in love with them. The band is Obadiah Parker. The singer is Mat Weddle. I love him. He has a Grizzly Adams, Paul Bunion's nephew look to him. He is now my favorite.

Who Am I?

2010-03-08T17:33:00.004-07:00

Part of the roller derby culture is come up with an alter-ego. This has proven to be more of an issue than I thought possible. I get to pick a name that defines me. These are ones that were in the running, but regretably didn't make it.

Ivanna Beatabitch
Sassy McSasserson
Whore on Terror
Peasant Stock
Built-to-last

These were all good, but I have issues with work (I don't want my students calling me Whore-y). I also could be anything close to here.

So I am

Delicate Flower

Life Update

2010-03-01T17:11:00.001-07:00

1. I haven't been on Amazon yet. I'm 25 percent of the way there. Way to go me!
2. I also officially made the Salt City Derby Girls. Way to go me!
3. Thats it.

The End

40 Days and 40 Nights

2010-02-17T17:06:00.002-07:00

I celebrate Lent. I think it is a good thing to deny yourself a small luxury every year. This year I gave up Amazon.com. We are 17 hours into Lent and I don't know If I'll make it. 943 hours to go. Here's hopin'.

Broken, but not forgotten

2010-01-17T21:17:00.003-07:00

So my arm is broken. However I do not need a cast. I'm happy and sad about this. I was looking forward to having a hot pink cast that I could put stickers on and have everyone sign. But this is better, for you know, showering.

I do have limited range of motion. I can't straighten it, or bend it all the way or rotate it at all. So some things are really fun, like driving my stick shift car. I use my left hand when going in to first, second or fifth gear. Righty works just fine for third and fourth. Also, shaking hands is super painful, so if someone extends there right hand for a shake i just daintily put my left hand in theirs throw a curtsy and say "Charmed." And eating is a mess.

In five to six weeks I'll be back to roller skating. Until then, Charmed.

*This is not my arm because a) its a left arm and b) I photoshoped the break in the elbow. But it looks similar to what my x-rays looked like

Broken

2010-01-09T20:11:00.002-07:00

I broke my arm. The story goes that I fell roller skating. If you have a better story I would love to hear it. This is a short post, mainly because I'm typing one handed. Coincidentally the longest word you can type with your left hand is stewardesses.

Gracefully, Like a Gazelle.

2009-12-22T17:44:00.002-07:00

A co-worker gave me a bottle of beer bread as a holiday gift. All you have to do is add beer, which I didn't have on hand. So I went to a gas station to purchase said item. So I took the beer and a bottle of juice to the counter, had my Driver's License handy to show him that I am of legal age. And he didn't ask for it. I DID NOT GET CARDED!!!

I am aware that I look over 21. I'm happy I look over 21, this is not the issue. On the counter there was a sign that said "We card any one who looks under the age of 35". The gas station attendant thought I looked 35.

I thought I would age gracefully, gently gliding through the process with confidence. I was wrong. Does anyone know of a good moisturizer?

The Boys

2009-11-25T22:16:00.002-07:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time and this is my third in one day. But how stinking cute are these kids?

Mahna Mahna do do da do do

2009-11-25T21:56:00.003-07:00

I'm a fan of the muppets. While in Atlanta this summer I went to the Museum of the Puppetry Arts. They had a whole wing dedicated to Jim Hensen's Creations. I saw Big Bird, Rawlf the Dog, and the Swedish Chef. I've been working on increasing my video library. I've recently added Fraggle Rock, Muppet Treasure Island, the Labrynth, and the Story Teller. His work with puppets is brillant...and funny.

Enjoy.

A Student Story

2009-11-25T10:26:00.002-07:00

I was teaching insurance to me students. This is typically a very boring, very morbid topic, if you die... if you get sick... if you could never walk again... etc... I was explaining that you don't want to get fancy coverage like cancer insurance (because you have health insurance, which covers cancer) or accidental death insurance (because you have life, which covers death). Anyway this is where we were when I had the following conversation:

Josh raises his hand
Me: Yes Josh
Josh: Caleb is going to leave this world the same way he came into it.
Sarcastically thinking to myself, goody a cliche comment, I never get those.
Me: And how is that?
Josh: By Accident.
I laughed...a lot.

I'd Rather be Lucky Than Good

2009-10-16T18:39:00.002-06:00

I always win door prizes. I surprise people when I see a ticket and say I'll win something. I say that with confidence because I will win. Case in point. I attend a financial literacy summit every year. And every year they have door prizes. So last year at this summit my friend had to leave early so to increase my odds of winning I asked for her ticket. Well not only did I win. I won twice. A book, and the same book. This year they had a few of the books left over and they decided to give them as door prizes...again-it was so successful the first time. I won, the same book.

E-U-C-A-L-Y-P-T-U-S

2009-10-04T15:41:00.003-06:00

Many of my students have bad spelling. When I give them a low score or tell them to correct their spelling and and turn in there paper I am bombarded by the excuses; "you know what I meant," or "when will I need to know how to spell that?"

To respond I fount this...

Lazy Sunday

2009-09-30T16:58:00.001-06:00

The other day the power went out at my place. Instead of going outside, checking the box, or calling the power company I sat there for a half an hour trying to remember if I paid my bill.

Moving In

2009-09-06T22:42:00.002-06:00

I know its been a while since I posted. I'm still looking for the month of August. I think it got lost in the move. Anyway, I've moved in to my new place. Its undergoing a lot of changes. I don't think anything had been done to it in a while. Its comforting to think that the dishwasher is older than I am. And by comforting I mean terrifying.

I've been doing a lot of painting. I have a room in Cream Puff, Amazon Jungle, Eider White, and my favorite Dorian Grey. That room I just refer to as Dorian-we're on a first name basis.

I'm getting new floor in a week or two. I'm pretty excited about this because the carpet had to come out so I've been living on concrete.

As my life has been my home and work I really don't have anything fun or eventful going on, but when I'll do I'll write about it.

Do You Approve of Me?

2009-07-29T13:49:00.003-06:00

If you want to test your ability to handle uncertainty and stress, try buying a house. It kind of feels like Junior High. I need every one's approval.

And thanks to Francis Lloyd Wright for 100 of architectural genius.

Family Photo Fun

2009-07-15T19:13:00.006-06:00

I don't like family pictures. Never had, probably never will. Also the the experience is made worse when I'm single and more and more people are not. My mother says because the family is growing we need a new picture. Well, I'm not growing, and if I was I certainly wouldn't want proof hanging on my parents wall.

To make the experience better we may break off into individual families. "Riley and Emily we would like a picture with just you and the kids, Ted and Aundi you're next." Do they want me to sit by myself a la high school picture day (which is a story for another day-lets just say it involves my exposed tummy and boys wrestling team)

I told my mother that if people ask why I'm not in the picture tell them I joined the peace core. She would have none of that. So our compromise is that I'll show up looking different. I'm thinking something like this

Anyway the picture day is coming and the only consolation is this.

Here is a family picture to prove my point. (The one on the left is out to get ya).

P.S. I just bought a house!!!

Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night

2009-07-05T20:00:00.004-06:00

This morning I woke up and commenced with my usual morning routine. After I had been in and out my room dozens of times my brother came in looking for something.

"Hey, what's that?" He asked.
"What's what?" I responded.
"That black thing on the bookshelf?"
"I don't know....Ahhhhhh, run away, run away." This was followed by a lot of high pitched squealing.

A big-possibly rabid-blackbird was in my room. It could have pecked my eyes out. How long was it in there? I don't know. I just don't know.

The blackbird has been removed.

Atlanta, GA

2009-07-03T12:26:00.004-06:00

I just returned from the Model Schools Conference in Atlanta. You get to see the pictures with commentary. Yay for you.

This is the view of the city I was walking to H&M if you have never been to this store it is worth a road trip. The nearest one is in Las Vegas.

The highlight for me is the house where "Gone With The Wind" was written.
Margaret Mitchell lived in an apartment on the ground level.

I started walking in Midtown and the houses were beautiful. I looked at some of the dates and the houses are older than Utah. I stumbled across the second oldest DAR (and yes, I did think of Emily Gilmore) in the nation and the building was condemed. However even with the graffitte and the crumbling exterior I thought it was charming.

I can't go to Atlanta without stopping at the Botanical Gardens.
I loved the kind turtle who gave his little friend a piggy back ride.

Also I'd like to give you some advice when you travel. If you decide to take a plane I recommend having a drivers' licence that isn't expired. I thought I might have to relocate to Georgia.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2009-06-15T19:49:00.002-06:00

Thanks to all of those who wished me happy birthday. If you didn't, you have been warned. Although, here is the best card I have ever received...ever!!!

Then I opened it...

Here is the best part...

That's right, my Grandy picked it out for me. I love her so much.
He is quite tasty.

Cry, Cry, Baby.

2009-06-13T17:42:00.002-06:00

So I'm a feminist, kinda. In my life I've been trying to find good examples of strong women. Lately I've been focusing on women in rock'n'roll. I've added Janis Joplin, Pat Benatar, Heart, The Bangles, Bonnie Tyler, Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin to my collection. However the following gives me chills and proves that women can rock just as hard as any man.

H-O-T-T

2009-06-07T12:05:00.000-06:00

I cut my hair. And I LOVE it.

Dang, I look good

Summer Plans

2009-06-04T20:13:00.002-06:00

Many people have asked what I'm doing this summer. My good friend had twin boys three months ago, and she needs a good nanny. She couldn't find one so I'll have to do. Anyway, here is a picture of Luke and Logan. they are adorable and I'm so excited to get to know them better.

Also my sister-in-law and I want to join a womans roller derby league. I'm going to start training this summer.

The Children Are Our Future

2009-05-21T19:50:00.003-06:00

There are three reasons I love my chosen profession of being a public educator

Thanks to your generous contributions to the Utah State and federal tax commissions I was able to purchase a Zune for my "classroom." For those who don't know what a Zune is, its like an iPod, only much cooler. My brother also thanks you for your donations as he got my hand-me-down iPod

2. I also still get to count down to summer break. 10 more school days if you were wondering.
3. Where else could you have the opportunity to gage understanding, go to an amusement park and stop a knife fight all within one hour?

TEACHING ROCKS!!!

Russian Bar Trio

2009-04-16T19:04:00.000-06:00

If you ignore The Haselhoff, Jerry, and at times even Ms. Osborn This is pretty cool.

Gnew Dew

2009-04-04T19:46:00.004-06:00

Jacque and I went and had our hair done today. She looks adorable, and I look like this.

Our at least I would if I could apply phot shop directly to my face and I was in Macchu Picchu. I'll have more picture later. It has different options

Its Been A Long, Long, Long, Long, Long. Long.... Time.

2009-03-21T13:44:00.003-06:00

To all of my devout followers I apologize for my long absence. I have also notices that I haven't done a list post in a while. So to kill two birds with one stone I'll let you know what has happened since my last post.

I visited and took advantage of this.
I became the self-proclaimed godmother of two adorable twin boys
I was labeled as "doesn't play well with others"
I finished this.
I've knited two iPod cozies
I gave a talk in church about how to prepare physically and spiritually for General Conference (I wouldn't recommend that topic (I didn't choose it))
My bag was stolen at work.
I got a picture of the punk who stole my bag at work smiling into the camera.
I got my bag back after the before mentioned punk realized that stealing from faculty isn't the best idea.
I realized that I sound so old when I refer to myself as facutly.
I get to decide if I want to press charges against the punk who stole my bag.
I decided that it would be too much work to press charges against the punk who stole my bag.
I watched Serenity for the first time.
I finally chained Milo's break light.
I made an appointment to get my hair cut on April 4th, (I'll post pictures, hopefully its good)

So, as you can see I've been busy.

Pure Joy

2009-02-10T21:21:00.001-07:00

Thanks Jacque

You'll Need a Tissue

2009-02-02T16:52:00.002-07:00

Its kind of long, but well worth it.

I really like the '70s gay couple

Save a Life...If you dare.

2009-01-30T17:16:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I donated blood. It was awesome. They came to my school and everything. I don't like looking it at other people's blood, it makes me sad. I love watching when I give blood. Its cool. The human body is awesome. I make this blood stuff all the time, and they can use it save lives, Awesome!!!

So they missed my vein, which is totally okay because the beautiful boss man came over and helped find it. He was pretty.

After all the excitement they even game me treats, how cool is that?

Facts of Life...Again

2009-01-20T17:18:00.004-07:00

I loved going through puberty. It was fun. Which is why I'm so happy when things pop up to remind me of all the good times.

Consequently I have a zit on my forehead that I'm afraid to pop because I'm afraid that teeth and a spinal cord might come out. You never know. It could be my twin.

Haka

2009-01-17T20:24:00.002-07:00

One of the highlights of 2008 was seeing the New Zealand National team do the Haka at the Rio Tinto Stadium. It was cool. There is something magical about men yelling, making faces and slapping their thighs. I like it. And I know it is past the holiday season but I really like this commercial.

I hope you do as well.

Welcome Back

2009-01-05T16:29:00.002-07:00

So I went back to work today. It was hard but I suffered through it, I appreciate your concern. However, there was something that made it less than enjoyable.

Remember how we live in Utah, you know, where we have seasons? Yeah, my class was 40 degrees the whole day. I thought heat was a given. I was wrong. My feet are still cold.

The Rules of Tattoos

2008-12-30T13:03:00.004-07:00

Although I have been told since I was a wee lass that tattoos are bad. This is true, for some. If, however, you find yourself in the market for a tattoo There are some rules.

BE SOBER
No names (I do have an exception; boyfriends, husbands, significant others change, your children do/should not.
Nothing off the discount wall. I'm all for discounts, coupons, great deals etc, but this is going to be on you forever, splurge.
Nothing in a language you do not speak.
Nothing directed towards small children. No one wants to be reminded that there is pooh on their back.
Nothing that cannot be hidden. You may have thought the tiger skin on your face was a good idea when you were with your frat brother but prospective employers will not. They are probably not wanting Tony the tiger to represent them as their accountant.
Remember ladies, things grow, things grow very big when you are growing a person inside you. A small tasteful dolphin swimming around your belly button can become a bulbous blue whale after a child or two.
And always put them where you know your mother will never see.

The End

Rant of Run-Ons

2008-12-21T11:31:00.003-07:00

I think weddings are a beautiful union of people and I very much encourage them. However, there are many things about them that make me a little queasy and hateful (I have walked away from many weddings hating the bride, groom, mother-in-law, mothers-in-law, brother, sister, BFF of the bride, or any combination of the above).

Some of the things that I don't like.

When the couple acts like they are doing you a favor by allowing you to come to their wedding. I got off of work early, drove to 20 miles to Bed, Bath, and Beyond where you are registered, got in nylons, missed The Office and 30 Rock, drove 20 miles in the opposite direction, was given a small cup of butter mints and mixed nuts, and was reminded by everyone that I am not married and my biological clock is ticking. Thank you for doing me the favor. Enjoy your toaster.
The couple, their family, their friends and anyone else they plan to invite to their wedding lives in one location; they choose to get married 100 miles away during the biggest snow storm of the season.
During the wedding breakfast everyone feels they must bare their testimony about the couple, turning what could be a very nice hour lunch into a four hour trip down I-want-to-dig-my-eyes-out-with-the-soup-spoon lane. This is why when I saw this I was grateful that I am not the only one who feels this way.

So if ever you want to get up and say a story about how the bride and you used to sing Girls Just Want to Have Fun into your hair brushes or how the groom and you had a bet to see which one would get married first, sit down, stay down, no one cares.

Compare People

2008-12-18T20:05:00.002-07:00

In this crazy Facebook age we have access to all sorts of information that is neither good for you, nor informative. The one that is getting to me is the Compare People Application. I know I'm stupid for even looking at how I rank but I did. Here are the Highlights:

80% more likely to skip class
71% harder of a worker

I find these rather contradictory, but true.

75% better of a drinker
100% better dancer

It hasn't been proven, but these can very well be linked.

The following I ranked 0% on.

Better Mother
Rather Date
Smells Nicer
More Cuddly
Smarter
More likely to succeed.

I am aware that I am a grouchy, ignorant, abrasive, child-hating, dumpster-smelling, drain on society. These ratings didn't surprise me at all, perhaps I should work on that.

The comparison that did surprise me is that I was also ranked 0% on Tech-Savvy. Really people? Really?. I TEACH COMPUTERS. I was ranked 2nd in the state for my computer application abilities. I know what URL, ROM, RAM, LAN, and HTML stand for. I know the largest non-government owned computer is called the Cheetah and is located in Tennessee. I train other professionals how to work computers.

So say that I am always late, unrealizable, bad a science, miser like, and a bad public speaker (because you did), but DANGIT, I AM TECH-SAVVY.

Pheobe

2008-12-01T20:09:00.002-07:00

My brother wanted to go to Bear Lake with some friends over the Thanksgiving Holiday. Because the group was co-ed they needed a chaperone-the irony of me being the person to prevent hanky panky is not lost on me. I did enjoy myself. We went clay pigeon shooting, big surprise that I didn't hit a thing and I now have a large bruise on my arm.

We also had an adventure in Montpelier. We went grocery shopping and got kicked out of the Oregon/California Trail Museum. The high light of the trip is that we got to go all of these places in Pheobe.

My grandmother has a 1967 VW Beetle painted like a patchwork quilt. She named it Pheobe. Its glorious.

Sisterly Love

2008-11-23T10:35:00.001-07:00

I am helping my sister learn how to post youtube videos. So this is practice and I if you haven't seen this video you are missing out.

I Was Tagged by Nessa

2008-11-14T20:54:00.002-07:00

Usually I'm not a fan of pseudo chain letters but this one I thought sounded like fun. I changed the rules a bit, if that means I'm going to be cursed so be it.

Here are the rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you.

2. Mention the rules on your blog.

3. Tell about six quirks you have.

4. Tag three fellow bloggers to do the same.

5. Leave a comment to let them know.

Quirk #1

I wake up several times a night just to see what time it is. Afterward I go back to sleep, if a clock isn't near by I can't sleep.

Quirk #2

My jaw clicks when I chew gum. Apparently this isn't normal.

Quirk #3
I have a wide selection of movies that I am too embarrassed to watch with people. This is why I recently purchased a portable DVD player. I don't want my mates to know that I watch creapy '90s television slows before I go to bed.

Quirk #4

I find large people in small amounts of clothes funny; not gross, inappropriate, or wrong. This may be because I find a little crazy fun.

Quirk #5

I like the "Domestic Arts" but I resent anyone who tells me that's what I'm supposed to do.

Quirk #6
I used to be (please read kind of still am) afraid of voice mail. There was about 8 months that I would never check it. I think I was afraid that it was another medium in which people could yell at me, not that I get yelled at a lot, or tell me that my dog died, not that I have a dog. I'm working on it.

I tag Amber, Bug, Criscell,

A Whim and a Prayer

2008-11-10T19:00:00.002-07:00

This is me on Saturday. This is Jason, he was unaware I was taking the picture until it was taken.

Today at school was interesting. I broke up a fight and a student pierced his own ears with a paper clip when I left the room for 3 minutes to help another student. So on the way home I decided a needed a change. So 5 inches later and 3 shades darker you have a different me.

Just for good measure here is slightly different angle.

I kind of feel a little bit like Diablo Cody.

I'm So Happy

2008-11-08T18:16:00.004-07:00

So you may know or you may not that I really enjoy Rugby. Alot. So when my brother called to ask if I wanted to go to the Amercian Rugby team play Uraguay I was so happy. I have attached some pictures of me.

this is number 15, he was very pretty to look at. This is one of the reasons I am grateful I'm cheap and picked the seats near the tri zone

Since I'm a sucker for redheads, and this guy is like a long lost brother of Chuck Norris, I took a picture of him. I wasn't even discrete, I pointed and clicked with my flash on and everything.

This is Ted looking very sneaky. He is working on the Grizzly Adams look, I think he has almost got it.

Adorable number 15 was gracious enough to pose for a picture with me. He didn't turn around for me, but I think we got his best side.

Cheers!

Halloween '08 Wahoo!!

2008-11-02T11:25:00.004-07:00

Happy Halloween everyone. Here is a picture of my and my friend Jacque at the end of our Halloween Festivities.

Jacque is a witch, but you may be asking yourself what I am-I'm the one on the right if you still need help. I'm a Cougar. If you are like many of the people at the party I went to you may be unaware of what a Cougar is. Here is a clip from what inspired my costume.

If you still don't know what it is, then I'm your mom, deal with it.

I have also attached a clip that I enjoy. I have two (that I'm admitting to today) inappropriate crushes. One with Amy Pohler, and the other with Hulu. A combination of the two is just a restraining order away of complete happiness.

Everything I Teach

2008-10-10T17:46:00.003-06:00

This is an entire semester of my class told better by Parnel, Pohler, and Martin

Summer Has Come and Gone.

2008-10-02T19:41:00.005-06:00

So I thought I would share some of my summer photos with you, finally. I went to Trinidad and Tobago, Grenada, and Atlanta. Here is the proof.

There are many, many forts in the Caribbean. It makes sense,
this one we went to. Levi, Bug and Bill.

I thought the steps were really cool, but one would not know they were

steps if you didn't have the feet.

This is Bill and a wild monkey we named Lionel (Bill's shirt reads FACT: Clowns Eat People)

I liked this picture because it combined the aspects of new and old.

This is at the Atlanta Botanical Garden. It may have been the highlight
of the city. It was beautiful.

Me again at the garden.

Bug and me somewhere awesome.

My sister was a good sport letting me take artsy pictures and such.

This was a late night when we were seeing what we looked like in different colors. I look like a KISS fan and my sister looks like Elliot from Pete's Dragon.

This is my Family. I love them.

My Life as a High School Teacher

2008-09-08T16:25:00.002-06:00

So as school is now underway and in its third week I feel my life revolves around my students. I hate it. My mood, whether good or bad, is based on 218 teenagers. I really hate it. I need more of a social life. The End

My Gay Saturday

2008-08-30T13:28:00.002-06:00

This morning my room mate and I had a gay date. We really didn't mean to, it just happened. We started by going to Target where we bought some bored games for our classrooms-straight. Afterwords we went to Sugarhouse-gay- where we went to an store for organic house hold supplies-getting gayer-and we discussed what toothpaste we were going to buy for our bathroom-gay, gay, flaming gay, if we were any gayer we would be Liberace.

After our errands we shared a plate of Twisted Mac & Cheese at the Hard Rock Cafe. I wonder if she likes to cuddle?

Where has all my money gone?

2008-08-27T17:17:00.004-06:00

This time of year budgeting is really hard for me. "Kayla," You may ask, "You teach finance and savings, and budgeting and all that, how could you over spend?" Since you asked I'll tell you.

And this doesn't even include the ones that I don't know that I need yet.

The End

Today I Shall Wear a Red Hat!!!

2008-08-02T16:06:00.000-06:00

There are things that you hear about. Things that you want to believe but they are just too good to be true. Faeries (preferred spelling), Nessie, Sasquatch, Tony Little, but the most spectacular of them all is the Red Hat Ladies. the Red Hat Ladies are a "global society of women approaching the age of 50 or beyond that connects and supports women in their pursuit of fun, friendship, freedom and fulfillment." They do wild and crazy things like wear a red hat to places like the Atlanta Botanical Gardens...which is where I saw them.

I wanted to get a picture with one of them, but in their ever so daring way of exploring the world they had a tour guide and I didn't want to disturb his explanation of the Japanese Garden. Which was beautiful.

And then I stabbed someone. The End

No, That's Not Right!

2008-07-17T17:43:00.000-06:00

For this blog we are traveling back to before the fantastic summer vacation. Yes my friends, this is a school story.

I have a student who is the typical gang banger. Pants so big they eat his feet, lots of black, lots of chains, lots of problems, and usually in lots of trouble. For the purpose of this dialogue we will call him Joe.

Scene: A financial literacy class two weeks before school is let out for the summer.

Me: All right class today's assignment is to write a one page review on the guest speakers we had last time.

Class: Ahh, come on Ballin' you know if we turn in all the papers you are going to have to grade them?

Me: Yes I know. What can I say, I'm a masochist*

After the bell rings and most of the class has filtered out.

Me: Joe, can I help you?

Joe: So you're a masochist, that's cool. What are you doing this weekend?

Me: Umm, I don't think that means what you think it means.

*Dictionary.com defines masochist as -the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself. -

July-mas

2008-07-06T14:13:00.000-06:00

A few years back some friends of mine celebrated July-mas. Now it is exactly as it sounds. They dressed up all festive like and had a party...in July.

Because this blessed time of year has rolled around once more I have decided to tell you a holiday story. Like all great stories this one isn't mine. It happened to a friend of mine, and she would hurt me if she new I was telling it.

My friend, we will call her Christina (because this is a Christmas story), teaches music at an elementary school. Christina was in charge of the Christmas program and was teaching the students Carol of the Bells. Christina broke it into parts, one for the boys the other for the girls. The girls sang the high do-do-da part and boys sang the slow ding-dongy part. Well the girls were going a little fast. In her frustration Christina yelled- to a bunch of sixth graders- "Girls slow down, or the boys won't know where to put there ding-dongs."

The End.

Happy July-mas to all!

This is the Place

2008-06-25T21:50:00.000-06:00

So I returned to the great state of Utah today. I spent a lovely time in Atlanta with my PBL group. I may Blog about that in more detail in the future (teaser: Kareoki and Omni Flux). What I would like to Blog about today is the inablily I have to get home from a vacation without incident

My sweet brother Levi picked me up in Sophie. Sophie tries hard but she is getting old and has a hard time doing what she used to be able to.

Anyways. I told my brother to meet me in Passanger Pick-up 7. He called me to meet him in Pick-up 5. I was confused but I began the walk only to se Sophie with her hood up smoking like a 1940's movie star.

After a 30 minute wait in the no parking zone and a gallon of coolent we made out of the airport, not home just out of the airport. We had to make one more stop with another gallon of coolent. I must say that I am glad that Sophie is a manual because otherwise we wouldn't have been able to get home as quickly as most of the time the engine was off and we were just coasting.

But I am now home and grateful for my Milo which doesn't overheat and leave big neon coolent stains on the airport pick-up. Sorry about that SLC.

Jah Blessing

2008-06-19T01:28:00.000-06:00

To my many fans (Jacque) this is for you.

I just returned from my trip to Trinidad/Tobago/Grenada. For those of you who are unaware of where that is exactly it is just barely north of Venezuela and they do speak English...Sort of.

I am sure there will be many more blogs about the trip to come but in the future but for now, me and my missionary brother are home but my parents and brother and sister are not.

As we have a Utah sized family and a normal sized car and a good helping of luggage we needed to take to trips to the airport. Luggage and Levi came with me, we made it on the plane, the rest of the family did not.

So as of right now I have a no idea where my family is, they may have grow dreadlocks and relocate, and after a 9 hour long layover in Houston I am exhausted. Good night Jacque.

Travel

2008-05-10T23:10:00.000-06:00

Being as there is only three weeks left of school- one of the main "perks" of being a teacher is you still get to count down until schools is out.

After school is out my family is traveling to Trinidad and Tobago, and Grenada. My brother Levi is returning home to the family that loves him.

Lots of work is involved in order to travel to developing nations. First the state department requires you to take a class detailing all of the dangers in the area in which you are traveling. They warn you against drinking the water, carrying your purse in plain view while you walk by a crack house alone late at night, and my personal favorite "adventurous eating".

Immunizations are also a fun part of travel. I am now almost up to date on my hepatitis vaccinations and I spent 1.5 hours in Clearfield in order to get my yellow fever vaccination. Does one turn yellow when they get the Yellow Fever? and if so why couldn't they come up with a more romantic name? There is no Red Fever, we have Scarlett Fever. I petition we change it to Marigold Fever, or Goldenrod Fever, or Sunshine Fever.

I am also getting scuba certified. From what I have done so far it seems like I will really enjoy it. What I enjoy even more is that my mother has tendencies to over react. After the class today she asked, "do you need to make a conscious effort not to freak out when you are underwater?"

This trip is going to be awesome

I Feel I Should Write a Book.

2008-04-05T14:56:00.000-06:00

More Good News?

2008-04-02T21:38:00.000-06:00

Background: I am an advisor for a high school business competition
Setting: very slow elevator

Floor 1: (many girls get on to an elevator)
Floor 2: (elevator opens to reveal 3 boys wanting to get on the elevator)
Boy One: I'll wait for the next one
Boy Two: I'll get on
Boy Three: I expect you to get four numbers
(Door closes)
Floor 3:
Me: All right girls let help the brother out
Floor 4:
Boy Two: (Turning to one of my students) Lets start with you
Floor 4 1/2:
My students: 555-4038
Floor 5:
Boy Two: (Turning to me) You next.
Floor 6:
Me: Dude I'm a teacher (I leave the elevator)

I got picked up by a high schooler...again. I am 25 years old. I like my age. I don't want to look 18. and I was picked second.

Good News!

2008-03-29T14:10:00.001-06:00

No one was shot at my school on Thursday!

Harlem, East Compton, My School

2008-03-25T18:11:00.000-06:00

If you we not already aware I work in the Ghetto. Well, not the Ghetto exactly, but the closest we can get in Utah. Lets go ahead and call it the Fhetto (Faux Ghetto if you will). Some days more than others I am reminded of this. The following are some examples:

I was grading a resume that I had the students create. I encouraged them to proofread and turn in only their best work. Under Objective one resume read "I want to be a personal trainer REALLY ALOTE!!!" Every professional and educational bone in my body weeps for the future.
As a computer teacher I have access to all the work the students save to their network drive. So as not to surprise the students with this information I inform them of this on the first day of class. I also tell the students to be careful of what they save as I am legally obligated to report any inappropriate material. I also look at their drives every week to grade there work. I was shocked as I was grading one girls work today to find a file titled "boobs" where one call "Chapter 5 Assessments" should have been. Upon further search I found a dozen similar pictures. Are porn seeking students that stupid to think that I wouldn't figure it out.
Finally today I had an emergency faculty meeting about Lock Down procedure as someone wrote something on the bathroom stall indicating that it would be a good idea.

Needless to say if you want to visit my school on Thursday wear a bullet proof vest.

Never Eat Shredded Wheat

2008-02-14T15:45:00.001-07:00

I understand that my theme is a bit "festive" but I'll fix that an another date. So whats the news with me? Well,

Bad news. My identity was stolen. I don't think you can call yourself a true american until this has happened. The ironic thing is in my class I taught about the threat of identity theft two weeks before mine was actually taken. The total damage was $353.80. It happened because some evil mastermind hacked into my paypal account and had a hey day. I'm slowly recovering the money.

Neither-here-nor-there news. I replaced my car. You may be thinking, "Kayla, this is great news, you drove a hunk of junk. The doors didn't open, the head head lights were dim and the wipers were as tempermental as a menopausal bipolar teenager." Too true. But she was mine. Gail got me through some very tough times-like that time on the road when it was snowing, and that other time when I was on the road. Plus driving isn't as fun if your sure you're going to get to your destination. Gail always provided that little bit of excitment in my day. I think my new cars name is going to Victor.

Good news. Swim season is over. For all of you who were un aware I was the swim coach this season. Even though I swam in high school the season is much longer if you are the coach. I promise.

Your Moms a Merry Christmas

2007-12-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

During the holiday season I usually try to reflect on my life and hope for peace on earth and good will towards man. I'm not very good at it.

Monday: I drove by the Walmart (the key word is drove by, not shopped at, that would be crazy talk) and saw the parking lot full of shoppers. I hate Walmart shoppers, they must be destroyed.

Tuesday: I had to go to Roberts Crafts to pick up buttons. The pregnant lady in front of me purchased a 249 piece nativity set that required each piece be wrapped 3 times in paper. I hate pregnant ladies, they must be destroyed.

Wednesday: During Faculty meeting the school show choir and Madrigals performed for us, forcing us to pay attention to them instead of mercilessly mocking our students for 40 minutes. I hate music, it must be destroyed.

Thursday: Bad roads, bad drivers. All must be destroyed.

Friday: I purchased a gift for my mother online because it promised that it would arrive by Christmas Eve, otherwise I would of braved mall crowds and picked it up. However, immediately after my money was taken they informed me that because of who cares what my order has been transferred to Vietnam to be processed and will not arrive until the 28th. Vietnam must be destroyed.

I feel bad for my destructive wished at Christmas time (except for Vietnam because since they don't celebrate Christmas I don't think it should count), and I should do something to boost my holiday spirit. I probably won't.

Anyway in all seriousness I hope you have a very merry Christmas and I mean that from the very depths of my soul, and if anyone tries to take that away, they must be destroyed.

What are you wearing? Ooh!

2007-12-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

I would post a picture but I fear what google images would come up with.

Two of my swimmers got suspended for four days today. Why? Skinny Dipping in the school pool. Am I disapointed? Hardly. I'm jealous. Every morning I go to practice, I unlock the pool, and am the only one there. I want to do the exact same thing.

However, I would do it at like three in the morning and I have a key. They did it at three in the afternoon. About when the janitor routinely comes in to make sure all of the chemicals are in correct proportions.

Its hard to punish girls you admire so much.

2007-11-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

I apologize to my many fans, that's you Leah, for my absence in writing anything in a while. This is probably because I have nothing to write about. I live at a school and my entire life basically revolves around my students. They can be quite funny.

I did move out of my parents house. I now live with two wonderful girls in an apartment in Holladay. Yes, I'm movin' on up.

I have recently discovered the beauty that is the IKEA. I love this place. I think they should do birthday parties.

I had heard about this magical castle off of I-15 in Draper but I thought they were just stories. I decided to see for myself what this place was about. I needed a bureau and I was on a mission. I arrived at 9:40 hoping the place opened at 9:30 but alas it didn't. But the cafeteria did. Breakfast at IKEA is awe inspiring; milk, juice and a huge cinnamon roll $1.92. The church is true. Then I went into the magical world of the show room. Colors and shapes surrounded me, all of them within my budget. In the end I bought twice as much as I expected and came in 25% under what I planed on spending.

In a Better World, I'd Be Interesting

2007-10-15T21:16:00.000-06:00

So, I was epiphanizing (I am aware that epiphanizing is not a word.)today that my life now revolves around my students. Any mood, either good or bad, has to do with a bunch of punk teenagers that I see for one hour a day. I have a problem with this.

To regain some sense of existence to the outside world I went to You Tube. Where else? and watch this. I know it is not my life...its better

The best way to add insult to injury is when you are signing some one's cast.

Parent/Teacher Conference

2007-09-25T21:14:00.000-06:00

Michael why weren't you in class to day?

I had explosive diarrhea.

Confessions of a single ADD....Person

2007-09-18T18:28:00.000-06:00

I have a confession. As the good girl that I am in June I went to Amazon.com and pre-ordered my copy of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". I enjoy the reading as much if not more than the next person. But I am now only on page 620 of the book. I'm a freak.

Is it terrible that I just don't care? He spent too long camping and not enough time actually doing anything interesting to stop him-who-must-not-be-named.

I'll finish, because now its personal. J.K. you can't make me not finish a book, no matter how trivial and anticlimactic it seems.

And for all of you who have finished the book, don't ruin it for me, I can't wait to find out how it ends.

The Molding of Minds

2007-08-31T16:50:00.000-06:00

Today was a hot day. My classroom reached 92 degrees. By the end of the day there were 30 puddles of kids who had melted all over my classroom. It was kind of gross. Anyway, I needed a slurpee.

After leaving the 7-11 I pulled up to an intersection to turn right. I was stopped at a light when a car pulled up next to me. Both of our windows were down. So, as I'm slurping down on my slurpee, waiting for the light to change, I hear "Hey Sexy Girl".

I look over, take off my sunglasses and respond, "Miguel, why weren't you in class today?"

Its moments like this when I remember why I like my job.

Like Sands Through the Hour Glass...

2007-08-10T11:12:00.000-06:00

Next week I start my big girl job. I am very nervous. I've started jobs before and been okay, but they are college student or summer jobs. This is a grade-A-certified-big-big-girl-job. I'm going to be a teacher, just keep repeating it to yourself, I'm going to be a teacher, I'm going to be...What if I'm a bad teacher? What if I hate it? What if I completely loose it and start putting students in the Chokey?

Children's books are riddled with evil teachers (or is that stepmothers? same thing). I'm going to turn into that nasty crotchety of wench who inspires stories about how I worship the full moon, or dated Warren Beatty. I should just start collecting stray cats

All Alone

2007-08-08T11:32:00.000-06:00

My parents went to Vancouver and Bill and Kristie left for youth conference. This means that I have the house to myself until Saturday afternoon. Whats a girl to do? I could have a big keggar but that seems like too much work. So I'll probably just stay at home and do nothing. My life is boring.

Every Angle

2007-08-01T12:02:00.000-06:00

I tended my nieces (Mildred-3 and HeyZoo- 2 months) and nephew (The Boy-1 1/2) last night. When I told Mildred it was time to feed HeyZoo she asked me if I had breasts. A slightly awkward question, and since most people observe this immediately, I have never had to answer before. I explained to her that I do but they don't work she asked "How Come?"

Me: Because only a mommy can feed her baby.
Mildred: How come you don't have a baby?
Me: Because I need a daddy for the baby.
Mildred: You should get a daddy!

I always think it is a good day when your three year old niece reminds you that your biological clock is ticking and it is time to do something about it.

Bare Lake!

2007-07-30T13:32:00.000-06:00

My family took our annual Bear Lake trip last week. I really love that place. The water, the skiing, the sun, the sitting around gorging myself on junk food. Good times

Cultured

2007-07-17T14:57:00.000-06:00

I had to call Sweden today for work. I was looking forward to my jumping-the-pond conversation. For some reason I thought my experience was going to be cultured and enlightening. When I was put on hold, I listened to Destiny's Child.

So much for culture.

How Dishwashers Really Work

2007-07-11T16:04:00.000-06:00

I revived this picture from some obscure file where it has been collecting cyber dust.

Now I want a puppy.

Anatomical

2007-07-10T14:51:00.000-06:00

Years ago my friends mother told me this story about her little girl. I thought it was so adorable, and borderline inappropriate, that I would share the dialogue with you (whomever you may be).

*Ali- Mom my Japanese hurts.
Mom- Japanese honey what are you talking about?
A- Mom it really hurts.
M- I don't understand. Show me where it hurts
A- points to her private parts

M- Oh, your vagina hurts.
A- Of course, not my Japanese, my China!

It is because of this that every time I hear China I kind of giggle to myself.

*names have been changed to protect the embarrassed.

Obituary

2007-07-09T10:17:00.000-06:00

Last Friday the world lost another ipod. She passed away in the lap of her owner. She will be missed. She passed away due to a preexisting genetic condition that was unforeseen. She was only three weeks old.

Although brief, her life was filled with adventure. She loved music, all kinds. She would shuffle through everything from Bob Marley to Ella Fitzgerald. She knew how to have a good time.

She is survived by Kayla (her owner) and Kristie (sister of owner and frequent borrower). Memorial services will not be held as an autopsy is being preformed to find the cause of her unexpected death.

In lieu of flowers please make donations to the Save the Music Foundation.

Little Girl, French Flag

2007-07-06T09:40:00.000-06:00

My adorable cousin snagged me two tickets for the Pioneer Theatre production Of Les Mis (Thanks BJ). So I called me friend Jacque and we had a date (one of the platonic ones you have with good friends).

There we sat in the theatre totally enjoying the performance when at the end of Lovely Ladies, where Fauntine has just proclaimed that she has sold herself to the creatures of the night and is now one of the walking dead, the power went out. Sigh. So we went and got ice cream.

Girls Camp?

2007-07-05T15:19:00.000-06:00

I'm a granola girl. Granted I am a fan of the occasional shower and running a comb through my non dreaded locks. I do, however, appreciate a socially accepted excuse to not have to self-maintain for a few days. Being in nature should involve being natural. What can I say, I'm an earth muffin.

This brings up Girls Camp(or is it Girl's camp, plural or possessive?). Girls camp should be a chance for all girls to get dirtied up, haze the younger ones and embrace the inner pyro. It should be a time where camp crafts consisted of gluing a stick to a rock and naming her Gladys. It should be a time when we let our legs get so hairy we are mistaken for the local wild life. It should be a time when we sleep in the dirt, dance in the rain and eat things cooked on a stick.

It is none of these things. Camp crafts are giving each other pedicures. A cook is called on to make gourmet meals. Blow dryers and curling irons are used, and the Au Natural girl (read Kayla) is poked fun at for having clothes that don't match.

I remember seeing my brothers come home from camp in the same clothes they left in. When they got home their clothes walked themselves to the garbage can.

Don't get me started about the having the boys set up the tents the night before, it would end very badly.

Adam's Rib?

2007-07-02T12:59:00.000-06:00

I like food. This is no surprise for anyone who even slightly knows me. I do enjoy me a good meal. However, I don't understand the attachment that men have with BBQ Ribs. My father loves ribs, a lot.

I bring this up because two months ago my father made ribs for Sunday dinner. They were delicious I admit. However, every meal since then my father says something to the effect of, "This meal is good, but my ribs were better."

My mother finally broke down and let him cook his ribs yesterday - which means two more months of I'm-the-best-cook-ever dinner fodder. I am just wondering is the rib obsession is a male thing? or can my father's romance with ribs be chalked up to just quirky?

Another example of this phenomena is in high school several of my friends went to prom (this is a common practice among the youth these days) And in their gussied up finery they ordered ribs. Come on people! Ribs in a tux. The girls basically had to give a sponge bath to all of the boys before they could get to the actual dance.

Perhaps this can be traced back to the beginning of man. Adam gave up a rib to have the company of Eve. Maybe men have been trying to make up for the loss by the consumption of half a pig.

If there are any other explanations for this rib/man union I would love to know it.

Da Bears.

2007-06-29T13:55:00.000-06:00

To my huddled masses that I know live and die by these postings, I dedicate this to you.

Chicago is a wonderful city. There are several things that made my trip amazing and if you ever make it to the Windy City I suggest you do them

East a slice as big as your face of Chicago Style Pizza
Watch a 19 year old get a phone number off of a waitress at a bar and grill. Who then was promply asked to go to the Gay Pride Parade
Conspire to mug the Zoobie
Watch Hannah Montana at one in the morning
Shopping
Eat comfort foods like Shepherd's Pie or Golosh/Beef stroganoff
Skinny dip in Lake Michigan. I didn't do this but I wanted to.
Pull an all nighter even when you are the only one who thinks it is a fool idea
(Beware the cheese) Meet some pretty cool people and have a blast.

My Achey Breaky Heart

2007-06-21T09:51:00.000-06:00

It is not a secret that the sentimental appeal of country music is lost on me. They always seem to be whining about there simple-self-dramatized lives. I get it your dog died, your girl friend left you and growing up on a farm with the horses and the tractors was magical. Be that as it may I can accept that the highest genre of music listened to on the radio is country (I read this on some msn article or something) and it is not going away. I'm okay with this. What gets me is the fashion.

Carrie Underwood, America's Sweet Heart. How is it that this gifted singer thinks that Denim makes an appropriate fabric for formal wear. The horror. The train. The dressing it up with flannel. She is country, and she looks country.

On a side note Billy Ray Cyrus isn't look bad these days.

I Wish....

2007-06-20T09:14:00.000-06:00

I had an attention span long enough to watch a movie in the theater Seriously I haven't seen Spiderman III, Shrek the Third, the new piratey thingy yet. I'm going to be in a quandary when Harry Potter comes out because I know that thing is going to be like five hours.
I didn't hate dressing in business casual.
my hair was done being in the weird in between phase. It has been in this phase since 2003
I could still take Flintstones vitamin instead of One-a-Day for Women and Fish Oil.
I could walk in five inch heals.
I had five inch heals to walk in.
I knew if like blondes like really do have more fun.
I liked mushrooms and seafood.
that Nick and Jessica could work out there differences.
Velcro shoes were en vogue.
mornings didn't come so early.
cell phones never became a necessity.
my friends never moved away.
school loans were mythical.
unicorns weren't mythical.
I had a unicorn. I would name him Gary, and we would be best friends
Gilmore Girls didn't just have its Series Finale.
I liked to run.
everything from Cold Stone was good for me.
Jack Johnson never stops making music.
Utah was never hotter than 85 degrees.
I knew as much as I think I do.
my bed was softer.
there were harsher punishments for parole violators.
that Dirty Dancing was never made.
that Michael Jackson wasn't a tall glass of creep juice.
that video never killed the radio star.
I was greener. Enviorment, not complextion.
Chris Farley never died, and he was my uncle.
I was a better waterskiier/wake boarder.
I had time to become a better waterskiier/wake boarder.
I could finish the book Killer Angels I've been trying since 1998.
Oh, and for that whole world peace thing

A Little Su'um Su'um

2007-06-13T12:43:00.000-06:00

The office manager had to go to a meeting and because I'm the low person on the totem pole I get to cover the phones. Because I am not at my computer I get to update my blog. Shhh! Don't tell anyone.

If you haven't guessed by the above I have found myself a summer job. I work for Neonatology in the Pediatric's department at the UofU. My exact title is Executive Secretary. This sounds alot more elite than it actually is. I'm basically a Girl Friday for one of the research doctors up here.

In the fall I will be working for a high school teaching Financial Literature and Computer Technology. So I finally have income to pay off my student loans. And we all know that Gayle is slowly dieing. She has been for the last three years.

I am now the aunt of yet another adorable child. Hazel Ann was born on the first of this month. Now Mildred and The Boy have someone to tease.

Peace be with you.

Schools Out For Ever

2007-06-01T14:09:00.000-06:00

The last day of school is just as exciting when you are 25 as when you are 5. I finished up school at the end of April but today is the day that has finality. College classes just pitter off. The last day of classes is followed by finals week. Taking the last final is very anti-climatic. High school gets it done. They have stomps and senior sluff days, farewell assemblies and an entire day dedicated to signing nonsense about intended phone calls and projected coolness. It never rains on the last day of school.

In the fall I was offered a teaching/coaching position at Cyprus High School. The only down side is that Cyprus HS is in Magna. For those who don't know Utah georgraph Magna is nestled between Kennecott and Toolle. Never drink the water. The water there contains like 100% of your yearly minieral recommended by the FDA. It's chewy. I was also offered a position at Taylorsville but I woudn't be able to coach and I prefer the classes I would teach at Cyprus.

I think I have sufficently rambled. Thank you masses for your indulgences.

Update

2007-05-03T20:00:00.000-06:00

As you may remember I was recently asked to Prom, but for various reasons I had to decline. An update on the sweet man who asked me. He was Expelled from school. I don't think I can be with a man who throws his education away like that.

Side note: When the principal was telling me about this I was making a presentation about Rugby and had several pictures of Cauliflower ear on the computer screen. I think he is worried about the education of his students.

Jail Bait

2007-04-14T07:34:00.000-06:00

It has finally happened. The happiest day of my life. I waited for three long years in high school and it never came. But yesterday It finally happened. It came out of know where. I didn't expect it. Needless to say I was caught off guard. I was asked to go to prom! I was asked by a charming Polynesian name Samati in third period.
There are thousands of reasons to say yes, but three very tangible reasons to say no. 1) I have nothing to wear. 2) I think he only asked me so I could buy him and his buddies alcohol and 3) I would get fired no questions asked. The school I work at has some MaryKay Laturno paranoia where they don't approve of the faculty dating the students. Whats up with that? Well, it was an honor just to be asked.

Go Red Sox!!!

2007-04-09T20:56:00.000-06:00

My brother showed me this last weekend and I loved it. I may have gotten more joy out of it because of my obsession with Boston Legal but either way its good fun.

My Mom Thinks I'm Special

2007-04-03T12:36:00.000-06:00

Last Friday and Saturday I competed in PBL (for those who don't know this is the College division of Future Business Leaders of America). Why? you may ask, would you subject yourself to such an activity? The answer is quite simply that I had to for one of my classes, and I adore the advisor. So I competed in four events. The first one is Business Ethics. My team took first place. It would be good to know at this time that four teams competed. I got a pin and certificate basically stating that I came in dead last.

The next event was Emerging Business Issues. The topic had to do with the rise in gas prices and the judges were asking us questions about the price of beef in Texas, I'm not lying here, needless to say I wasn't prepared for the randomness that was our judges. We took third out of four.

My adorable advisor talked me into competing in Economic Concepts. Be it known that I have not taken an econ class since 2001. The test was 100 questions and I had no idea what half of them were asking. There were acronyms and formulas that were as mysterious to me as why people are still listening to Sean Hannity. I did compete with about 15 other people in this event. Needless to say I was shocked when I was called as a finalist (this includes the top 10). As the announcer started at 10 and worked his way up the look on my face was that of shock when I realized that I was beating all of these people. I ended up taking fourth. I week for the economic future of this state.

Finally I competed in a Future Business Teacher. This was a no brainer because I am going to school to be a future business teacher. This event consisted of four parts. Information: Resume, Letter of Intent and Letter of Recommendation. Written: I had to write a letter showing that I can keep a coherent thought in my head. Test: this was from HADES. Interview: self explanatory. For some Divine reason they didn't think I was half bad and gave me first place. Along with the prestige and a plaque they gave me...

Granted it was in check form but a picture of that isn't nearly as exciting. I also get a free trip to Chicago to compete in nationals, which in my mind is just a free trip to Chicago with a brief stint to get in the way.

P.S. On a side note I am a long-term substitute at Taylorsville High School. I get to teach marketing classes until the first of June.

EXCITEMENT!!!

2007-03-22T12:30:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I wish my life were more exciting. A part of me wants to take up base jumping, NASCAR racing, and wild animal training. Another part of me wants to liquidate all my assets and move to Costa Rica or Thailand (if I sell my car I could probably get to Albuquerque.) The part that wins-the part that always wins-goes to school, reads a book, and when feeling saucy shells out $.75 and goes to a Tuesday night movie. If my life were a movie I'd walk out.

A New Race

2007-03-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

As my life exists well, with out a life, I get my entertainment from the students I substitute teach. Today's dialogue.

High School Boy in an Interior Design Class: Do you know what an aphrodisiac is?
Girl gravitating to the only High School Boy in an Interior Design Class: No, Why?
Me: Excuse me, what are you asking?
HSBIDC: Do you know what an aphrodisiac is?
Me: It is a thing that sexually stimulates someone.
HSBIDC: Oh, I heard it was a type of Black Man.
Me: (awkward speechlessness)

I fear for the future.

Light and Essences

2007-02-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

This is my last semester sit-in-your-seat classes. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its inviting. Its inspiring. It puts of a warm, fuzzy glow. Its beautiful. Its an oncoming train, and its picking up speed.

A part of me has died. And it was the part I liked (I could have easily gotten rid of my love handles or kayak feet). I feel like homework is sucking everything good and lovely out of me. Like I'll never be happy again.

Or, perhaps someone has escaped from the broiler room and stole my "essence."

My College Education

2007-02-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

While returning from a vacation in St. George, somewhere between Filmore and Beaver, with my family my brother was explaining the science behind a "covered wagon".

He was explaining the heat rising, air compression science behind the stank control. I explained to him that I have had college level science classes, and I'm not stupid. To this my brothers response was, "I know your not stupid, thats why I'm telling Mom" This made me giggle and feel a little bit sad